She was never able to trace the changes her attitude had undergone, from the time when she believed herself to be the pampered Queen of Fortune, the crown of a good man’s love (and secretly, but nobly, worshipping some one else), to the time when she realized she was in fact just a mannequin for her lover’s imagination, and that he cared no more for the realities of her being, for the things she felt and desired, for the passions and dreams that might move her, than a child cares for the sawdust in its doll. Blue haze had settled beyond the black silhouettes of trees, graduating to the deep violet that began the night sky. She could not go to him when it was apparent that he needed her beyond all other instances! What had caused this agony did not matter—then. ‘Good. Just at the completion of the new jail, in 1780, it was assailed by the mob during the Gordon riots, fired, and greatly damaged. ‘I have an arthritic complaint, which is why you find me retired from fashionable life.
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